Let's not talk about the stretch marks. Or the back fat. (I mean really, who ever signs up for back fat?!?!) Or the hail damage. Gravity, it seems, has a vendetta against me. And yet I wonder, as I make a list of what is now "wrong" with my body, who decided these things were bad in the first place.
I mean, a couple hundred years ago, this was considered beautiful:
Even when I did look like that (shocking but true) I wasn't happy. So why do we raise the bar on our ourselves? Why do we do it to other women? And why is our sense of beauty so convoluted? Stretch marks should be badges of honor: four children have grown inside of me. Four. That back fat that I so despise exists to fuel my milk supply so I can nurse my little one. (And the hail damage? Well, I see no purpose in that whatsoever!) Here's the truth: this deflated body of mine has given life. I know that. I see the proof of that every day. And still I will struggle with the fact that I am no longer who I once was on the outside. So may the inside of me grow more beautiful even as this shell of mine deflates.
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5 comments:
i remember feeling my stomach after my first baby... and that's exactly what i felt like - a deflated balloon.
and i, too, struggle with my body image. i'm sure it does have to do with remembering my body before babies... and the media. it is a shame, and i definitely need to work on loving who i am on the inside instead of focusing on the outside.
I have jokingly said, "In Rubens' day, I would have been a supermodel!" In my case, I have always carried around at least some extra, unwanted pounds. I never looked like the model on that magazine cover. When I was pregnant, forget about it, you could have shown a movie on my backside. After I had my son, I laughingly referred to my "baby weight". That ceased to be funny when he entered adolescence. Over the years, I have let up on myself a little, but not much. I still wish I was thinner, firmer, and a little more...shall we say..."lifted". It is hard to get away from that, even when you know better, even when your husband still thinks you're sexy (and on that subject, his is the only opinion that counts). And, I must confess, I have harbored a secret hope that my glorified body would be thinner and more fit than the one I currently inhabit!
I fell upon your site from someone else's. I have 2 boys and have gotten a lot of encouragement from your writing! This post was SUCH an encouragement for me! It's so well written and speaks so much truth. THANK YOU for posting that photo of the people from way-back-when. Hallelujah! Thanks for putting it out there. It is appreciated by people you don't even know!
I haven't had kids, but can definitely feel/see my body getting older. Wouldn't it be wonderful if society started to embrace the rubenesque woman again! SIGH.....
I was watching a movie from the 80's not too long ago and noticed that then women were allowed to be on screen even if they were a bit more "curvy." We have definitely gotten out of control in the body image department. I am not sure who started this-- but I do wish it would stop!
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